I have depression. It is something Satan loves to use as a weapon against me.
I woke up this morning feeling like a failure and feeling so worthless. I hate days like this. There are no words for how much I loathe these feelings of self doubt. I have learned to pray in these moments. To tell Satan to be gone in the name of my Protector and Savior. And I know and trust that God’s got my back in this.
So today for my joy post, I prayed to have joy. I got out my big Bible reference book, and looked up joy. I said ok Lord I will look them up, and please speak to my heart.
I got to this verse and then I stopped. Was Paul talking to me? It really felt as if he was reminding me that the more I trust in God to protect me and guard my mind and heart from Satan the more Joy, Peace and Hope I will have. I got pretty teary and thanked the Lord for always giving me exactly what I need when I need it. Now I’m not sure what I feel, I have some mixed emotions here, I still feel kinda empty, but at the same time I feel so complete. So today I will keep my eyes on the Lord and let him fill me with hope.
I know this isn’t much for a post about joy. But it’s this joy that keeps me going day by day.