Raising Ladies and Gentlemen : A Lost Art

When I was a little girl, I would always see my Papa open all the doors for my grandma {me too} he always pulled out her chair for her, I grew up believing that men did NOT swear in front of ladies. My Papa is a true gentleman. My grandma would always remind me of the things that ladies did and didn’t do.  Ladies don’t sit with their legs open, Ladies don’t chomp their gum, Ladies don’t discuss bodily functions in mixed company, Ladies don’t swear in mixed company,  Ladies ALWAYS use proper table manners, Ladies always wear the proper undergarments, Ladies don’t share off color jokes in mixed company, Ladies are modest, Ladies don’t get sloppy drunk.  In my younger years yes I have had my moments of acting very unbecoming of a lady.  I won’t list them.  My grandma reads my blog.  haha.   I am however so beyond grateful for the lessons I learned from them both.

When I met my husband I had come to believe that a true gentleman was an endangered species.  I had yet to find one.  On our first date he opened the door.  Most guys did that on a first date.  It was a pretty typical I want to make a good impression first date.  {I however did have a serious case of love at first sight} On our third date when he said your mine, he also told me I had 3 rules.  Yes rules.  I was willing to listen to them, but I was loosing trust in my love at first sight feelings.  Rule 1.  I am not allowed to open my own doors. {hmmmmm} 2. I am not allowed to pay for anything when we are together {I can handle this} 3. I’m not allowed to cheat on him. {really those are my “rules” I can do this}  The only one I ever break is Rule 1.  a lifelong habit is hard to break.
Over the years we have little rituals and dances that show his chivalry.  When we are walking on the street, he always walks on the outside nearest the street. In a restaurant, he likes to sit on the aisle, facing the door so he can be ready to protect me if he needs to.  If we are out and someone’s language gets out of control he will ask them to stop. He has always treated me like a lady who deserves respect.

We have 2 boys and 2 girls.  We have intentionally raised them to be Ladies and Gentlemen.  Our oldest son will be 17 in February.  He is just now starting to venture out into the “dating” world.  We hate to use that word. Society has a completely different definition of dating than we do.  For us dating means he is getting to know her, without getting physical.  Fortunately the girl he is interested in getting to know more is a Christian girl who wants to know his mind and heart before a physical relationship too.  Talk about a moms mind feeling a bit more at ease.  We have talked extensively with him about what is expected of him as a Christian Gentleman in regard to his treatment of ladies.  Always open doors, do not talk about bodily functions, do not gossip, do not mention anything inappropriate, do not go to movies where there are intense love scenes, talk about boundaries,  use manners, all of your manners, treat her like a lady, do not treat her like one of the guys and above all remember you are taking out a daughter of the King most High.  Our next child is 15 and is so frustrated… because there are no boys at school who seem to have the same moral code.  She said why is it that?

After thinking about it, I realized not many people were raised like I was.  With etiquette being valued as high as education.  Proper table manners weren’t an option. It has become a lost art.  Why is that?  Since when is it ok to chew with your mouth open? Belch {Burp} loudly in public?  Tell sexual jokes in the presence of ladies, or women tell jokes of this nature in front of men? When did guys get lazy and stop opening doors for Ladies? When did please, thank you and excuse me leave our vocabulary? When did common courtesies just leave our society??  I will be exploring more and more of these and how to bring them back… if only to our families.
Thank you for reading this my friends!!!
xoxox
Becky